As International TV Turnoff Week kicks off, I'm coming out in a cold sweat.

After various run-ins with the children about telly-related stuff, I decided that special switch-off week presented the perfect opportunity to do just that.

I thought it might be nice to play a few board games, listen to my children read, have a relaxing sit-down family meal, or simply a chat.

But having logged into a few websites to check out the reasons behind this global movement, which started in the USA, I've changed my mind.

Every time you turn it on, your television is giving you these messages,' they say.

You are boring', The people you know are stupid,' The things you yourself can do are second rate.' Well, I'm sorry, but I haven't been aware of any messages coming from my TV, and when I am, I'll be anxiously heading to the nearest doctors' surgery. I would then expect to be referred to a top-security psychiatric unit.

I'm also not convinced by the argument that TV is linked to heart disease and depression. If you don't get up off the sofa for several days at a time while stuffing yourself with burgers your heart is bound to suffer, and if you watch too many episodes of The Weakest Link you won't feel in great spirits. But you can't blame TV - there are surely underlying factors that prompt people to slob around in front of the box for hours on end. I actually believe TV is good for you. If I'm feeling down, the TV is the one thing that perks me up. In fact, The Apprentice is the highlight of my week. When the last series finished I went cold turkey and had to have counselling.

It isn't educational or stimulating' - that's another ridiculous statement. My children learn more from the TV than they'll ever learn from me. Only the other day my youngest daughter pointed to a picture in a magazine and identified a duck-billed platypus, after having seen one on a wildlife show.

The reasons why we should turn off for a week beggar belief - the best has got to be: TV is bad for democracy', pointing the finger at television as the reason why people aren't turning out to vote in elections. Apparently, we're all too distracted by the riveting programmes to be bothered to wander round to the local school (which has been closed for the day meaning a day's less education for our children) and stick a cross on a piece of paper. No mention of there being no-one worthy of our support, which is far closer to the truth.

These arguments have led to me taking a very speedy U-turn.

I was willing to have a go and turn off the TV for the week, but now I'm so angry I'm going to rebel and do the opposite.

I'm going to turn our set on and leave it on 24/7. And I'm going to strap my husband and children to the sofa and force feed them McDonalds and high-calorie cola.