I HAVE this fail-safe system of high finance. A sure-fire winner.

I've let many friends in on it over the last 32 years.

Half my parishioners swear by it.

And now, for all friends of this column, all is revealed in The Confessions of a High Financier.

Those unsympathetic to the ethos of this column should now stop reading.

Ah! No cheating. Go on. Turn the page. Off you go and

You're still peeping!

Not that I wish to be unwelcoming. In truth, I'd be delighted if you all stayed around.

It's just that if you don't warm to the high and heavenly -- in finance or otherwise -- you'll find the following too hot to handle. Okay? (For goodness sake, when's he going to get on with it?)

Here goes...Each pay day, a simple transaction is all that's required. Just give away 10 per cent!

Pardon?

Just keep 90 per cent!

Ah, that sounds better. And the rest?

The Bible calls it a tithe. Give it to God's work. Not, incidentally, like the tight wad who wrote a cheque every pay day and sent it up as a burnt offering.

God in his Book says: I've given you everything. Recognise the fact by giving me back a portion. In the stillness, let me inspire where it should go -- a charity...the starving in Africa...the church...deprived kids.

Just you see, adds the Lord via his Prophet Malachi, I'll open the windows of heaven and pour out riches on you.

Hasn't failed yet!

Mind you, I had to lose the jet-set Jag dream, but the Peugeot's not too bad.