The Muslim community, especially the mosque leaders need to address the seriousness of domestic violence within our communities.

As a religion and way of life, Islam offers the most privileges woman and her rights as a human being equal to man.

Some Muslims believe it is the man's right to abuse his wife and children in any way he sees fit. Others recognise the behaviour as Islamically unacceptable, but have no training in domestic violence counselling, and do not know how to intervene effectively and legally.

Most people just hope the problem will go away. When it does not, the entire community suffers. The existence of abuse convinces a community that they are ineffective and unable to protect women

Let there be zero tolerance for abuse and violence against women!

Families need to maintain open lines of communication between all of their members; regular family meetings where everyone is allowed to express themselves without any recriminations are helpful.

Extended families must stop covering up abuse in the name of "preserving the family honor."

Imams must be protectors of women's safety by example and recognize when they do not have the expertise to truly help women who are battered.

Community members should be encouraged to obtain professional training and degrees in counselling. The community is responsible to develop protocols for handling problems of domestic violence, networking with existing Muslim and non-Muslim agencies that can provide training or referrals, and set up safe houses for battered women and children.

At least twice a year, each mosque or community centre should present an Abuse and Domestic Violence Awareness Program for Muslim Families that will teach risk identification, abuse and violence identification.

I am reminded of a sister who was recently being abused by her Muslim husband. She went to the Imam looking for divorce. What was the Imam's response you ask? He said: "What have you done to your husband to drive him to do this to you?" Need I say more?

We are always screaming the rights of women in Islam (which I am convinced that most Muslims only play lip service to) and are also complaining that we as a community are stereotyped and misunderstood by western society, but if we are committing actions like this then what can we expect?

If Muslim women the world over knew their rights in Islam and how they are being systematically abused and ripped off, there would be a massive revolution against men to re-assert their rights.

I am tired of other Muslims apologizing for these abusive people, and we need to take active steps of rectify this situation.

One problem is that many Muslims don't want to get involved in the "private" family affairs of other Muslims. Rather than enjoining good and forbidding evil, rather than trying to stop abuse in a friend's or neighbour's family by offering to mediate between the husband and wife or by encouraging them to speak to Muslim counsellors, many irresponsible people close their eyes and pretend they don't know there's a problem. So the abuse goes on.

Another reason why abuse isn't stopped is that many abused Muslim women simply don't seek out help. They're afraid that if their situation becomes public they will lose their privacy because of gossip, and they fear the abusers will become more hostile when the negative publicity gets back to them.

Other Imams, who are sincerely but mistakenly misinterpreting Islam by putting the importance of family privacy above any harm that might come to the individual woman, tell the women it is wrong for them to discuss their problems with anyone other than their husbands.

The Imams's reactions sometimes stems from ignorance, friendship or blood relationship with the abusive husbands. Relatively few Imams have had the wisdom and courage to tackle the problem head-on. As a result of this, many abused women don't bother turning to them for help.

As for national Islamic organizations, most have largely ignored the issue of wife abuse, neglecting to highlight the problem and solutions during national conferences or to devote resources to helping abused Muslim women.

The Muslim community has clearly failed in its obligations to protect many Muslim women and to bring many cruel Muslim men to justice. The community needs to deal much more effectively with wife abuse in order to stop the immediate suffering of people in abusive situations and to help build healthy Muslim families.

PART TWO OF TWO

Name and Address withheld