DEAR MASSI, I used to think my friends would always be there for me. I had a large social circle but one situation changed everyones perception of me.

I was due to get married and whilst my husband seemed like a good person at the very last moment I changed my mind. A couple of weeks before the marriage I was also seen in a car with one of my male friends by my husband to be's uncle. I was just talking but I can understand it may have shocked him. He went and told everyone and the whole family visited my house.

My family thought it was a disgrace. My friends, many of whom also knew the groom sided with him. I couldn't believe it!

So many men change their minds about marrying someone all the time but just because a woman does it they all think there is something wrong with it. I just didn't think it was the right decision and I thought I would be unhappy.

I don't feel like going out anymore and feel lonely all the time. My family seem to think it's all my fault and I get the feeling, people are always talking about me. Only my mother is happy with me.

I just want to know how to get out of this hopeless situation. I am sure never to get a rishta again. I want to leave home and move away but I work here and can't.

HN

Bolton

MASSI SAYS,

It is indeed a traumatic time for you but you shouldn't blame yourself. You changed your mind and many people do that all the time. It shouldn't matter if you are a man or a woman.

Marriage a life changing decision and if you thought you were doing the wrong thing it is good that you made the choice you are happy with.

From what you say it seems the friends you had were not very good friends in the first place. At a time like this true friends stick by you and I think you were hanging around in the wrong social circle. A friend is someone who always tries to understand your side of the story and be with you no matter what.

With regards to your family maybe your mother's way of thinking will rub off on the rest of your family.

As a way of finding new friends try taking up a new hobby and joinging a local club. You must think you are alone.