DEAR MASSI, I have been married for six years and have three beautiful children whom I love very much.

I would say we are pretty well-off and money has never really been a problem. However, since my third child was born my husband has been a bit 'off' with me. He takes care of the children all the time and is a very responsible person. But I feel as if I am being ignored. I never felt like this when I had my first and second children.

Since the third one has been born I get the feeling his mind is always somewhere else.

I don't know what I have done wrong. Could he be seeing someone else or am I just being paranoid?

He has been coming home late sometimes. When I ask him where he has been. He just says 'out'. And that's that. There's only so many questions I can ask and only so many times I can pretend it is is not hurting me.

It is starting to lead to more and arguments and it is tearing us apart.

I only have a few close friends whom I have asked but they haven't given me any answers.

I just feel so sad and depressed sometimes. What can I do Massi?

IL

Preston

MASSI SAYS,

Feeling depressed sometimes after having given birth is normal.

Rather than concerning yourself all the time about what your husband is thinking it may be more important to put yourself first.

At this stage after having given birth you should come first. Make more time for yourself to do things you enjoy doing. That way it will help ease the stress you might be feeling.

With regards to your husband, from your letter it seems something is obviously bothering him. Women sometimes think that when a new person comes into the family, husbands don't suffer.

It may be something small that is bothering him. The only way to find out is to ask him. There is no point in playing 'mind games' when there are three children also involved.

From what you say it seems, you don't want to ask because you fear the worst. That shouldn't be a worry.

Finally I feel much of the problem lies with your husband. You shouldn't feel bad about it. He's the one who's changed his habits and manner towards you.