WHEN Dame Barbara Windsor’s husband announced that the Carry On star had been battling Alzheimer’s Disease for the last four years many people were shocked.

He did this so that fans of the 80-year-old actress would understand if she seemed confused while out and about or if her behaviour was unusual.

As well as promoting greater understanding of all types of dementia, this public explanation also prompted a flood of donations to the Alzheimer’s Society. It also showed that dementia is a shockingly common disease — currently affecting 850,000 in the UK — that has no respect for status or age.

This week is national Dementia Action Week when everyone is urged to have greater understanding and practical help for sufferers.

Janet Mitton knows all about both these. In 2009, her much-loved husband Brian was diagnosed with dementia. His reaction was not to want any of his family to know; hers was to be “terrified of what was to come.”

Since then, as Brian’s illness has become gradually more severe, Janet has found out more about dementia and coped with their very different lifestyle in spite of her own health problems.

“We met when I was the owner of a pub in Bury and Brian was a customer,” explained Janet, now 68. “We were both on our own – Brian was a widower – and we got together and were very happy with a busy life”

Brian was 15 years older than Janet and, around 2006, she noticed he was “getting a bit grumpy – but I just thought that was his age.”

He was sometimes confused and could not recall the right name for items or queried where he was going on a previously familiar journey. “It was my daughter who felt there was something wrong and suggested seeing our GP,” recalled Janet.

He did some tests and referred Brian to the Royal Bolton Hospital where further tests revealed the dementia diagnosis. “It was a lot to take in,” she admitted.

Over the intervening nine years, Brian’s health and awareness have gradually deteriorated.

He started wanting to go out less, preferring to be where things were familiar. More recently, he began having falls and a few months ago broke his pelvis.

Janet decided early on to find out more about dementia and got in touch with Carers Support and then Bolton Dementia Support Group where the late Kath Tyldesley offered excellent advice and support.

“It made a difference to find out what help was on offer, what we could do,” she stated.

Support group meetings made a difference to both of them. Brian was able to go for day care, first at Thicketford House and later at Starmount Villa Care Home at Bradley Fold.

From going a couple of times a week, Brian now goes to Starmount six days a week which Janet pays for while she runs the Dementia Support’s charity shop in Tonge Fold.

“I’ve tried to take things according to how Brian is,” she explained. “Gradually, I’ve seen him deteriorate and when he can’t remember me any more, I know that’s when he needs to go full-time into Starmount. But he will be familiar with it and the staff there – who are wonderful – will know him.”

Janet has long ago lost the companion she had in happier times. Today, Brian is incontinent and requires 24-hour care.

“One of the toughest elements is that he wakes regularly during the night, tapping around the bed to reassure himself that Janet is still there.

As a result, Janet has not had an unbroken night’s sleep since last February when Brian went into respite care for a week. However, Janet is happy to have Brian at home – “Just occasionally, I still see a glimpse of the man he was,” she said, “and it’s lovely to see.”

nFor more help and advice about dementia, call Bolton Dementia Support on 01204 386696 or go to https//www.dementiauk.org

nHAVE YOUR SAY: Email letters@theboltonnews.co.uk