WHY any woman would want to marry Ian Beale has always been a mystery to me, along with 99.9 per cent of the female population (both in soapland and real life).

So it was no surprise that his attempts at tying the knot with Jane didn't go exactly to plan in last night's EastEnders.

Not that this was because Jane - an apparently sensible woman - suddenly came to her senses and realised she was about to get wed to the square's biggest weasel as you might imagine.

No, it was because the snivelling Beale had decided to humiliate his bride-to-be by jilting her at the altar.

Luckily Jane got wind of the plans and did it to him first.

There was something almost touching about the way Jane had squeezed herself into an unflattering frock and even had her hair done for the occasion.

Any regular viewer will know what an emotional wrench it must have been for her to take off the stripey jumper she's been hermetically sealed into for the past 12 months.

But Ian wasn't playing ball - she'd had a few steamy moments with a Mitchell and that's on a par with selling his kids down the market.

The upshot was that poor Jane ended up sodden and covered in mud in the allotment while Ian hurled embittered accusations at her.

Not exactly the recipe for the happiest day of your life.

But EastEnders scriptwriters aren't daft (most of the time) and luckily they had a surprise ending to the whole fiasco.