SO let me get this straight... Cardiff City were playing in red, away at Coventry City, who are playing in Northampton; yep, modern football is rubbish.

Hardly a day goes by without another story that makes me think the game is losing what is left of its soul.

Mark Robins sacked at Huddersfield Town after 90 minutes of football? What exactly is the thinking there? And the club even had the cheek to send out a statement saying the decision had been “by mutual consent” – yes, so was my Sunday shopping trip to the Trafford Centre with the wife and kids.

Clubs up and down the land have been getting hot and bothered all summer providing wi-fi hotspots for their fans. Here was me thinking they were at the ground to watch a game and not download the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

Want more crazy? I have a bucketload. The Charity Shield is sponsored by McDonalds. Digest that, if you will.

Wayne Rooney, three-and-a-half years after submitting a transfer request at Manchester United, is now the club captain at Old Trafford.

Those wacky Reds have also banned iPads, presumably because someone might distract one of the younger players and challenge them to a game of Angry Birds.

Shane Long – a striker who has never scored more than 10 goals in a Premier League campaign – has now moved for £25million in transfer fees in the last five years following his £12m switch to Southampton, not that you would know it, as deals are almost universally described as “undisclosed” nowadays.

Sky Sports has a FIFTH channel and has somehow found a way of making their news channel more gaudy and annoying.

Meanwhile, BT Sport continues to exist and buy up loads of future scheduling without anyone really admitting to watching it.

Squad numbers continue to irk me – Ryan Sellers is number 50 at Wanderers, for goodness sake.

Internet message boards, Twitter and Facebook continue to spout bile without thought for balance or consequence, while agents convince the hundreds of players currently without a club that they can earn more money if they just hold out a little longer. Go play some football, fellas, that’s my advice and I won’t take a percentage.

Brazil are rubbish, so are England, and there hasn’t been a decent World Cup or FA Cup song in absolutely ages.

Speaking of music, do the Fratellis get royalties every time Chelsea Dagger is played at a football match? If so, can they buy the television rights back to the Premier and Football League and make sure games kick off at 3pm Saturday, 4pm on a Sunday and 7.45pm in midweek?

This is just a tiny portion of the things that do my head in about the modern game, and yet what would we do without it? More shopping at the Trafford Centre, that’s what. And I’m afraid that is a future I cannot contemplate.