LAST week, I was admiring Germany's litter-free strasses, lack of graffiti and absence of ASBOs.

This week, I email from the hot and dusty calles of Spain.

Here, rubbish piles higher than last year, graffiti covers every wall, but dignified, conservative values and standards still veil society.

Next week, it's back to Britain's dirty streets, where one PM pleads "Back to Basics!" and as the laughter dies another suggests "Respect!"

Meanwhile, my church is a holy island in an ocean of dog excrement. Who cares if our dear departed lie beneath the smell or that our kids might lose their eyesight?

Soon, I'll be in Tanzania. Survival's their deadly game, with no time to grump about dog muck, and nobody can afford to graffiti-scar walls.

Four cultures, four behaviours and the differences depend on God's location.

Staunch Catholic/ Protestant Germany keeps God in its foundations.

In Spain this week, the Pope's trying to persuade them not to dig up the deity and cast him adrift as an irrelevant off-shore island.

In England, of course, we threw Him out in the sixties, while in corrupt Tanzania, God's still wrestling with witchdoctors to get an entry visa.

So, our youth expedition to Tanzania aims to be terribly politically incorrect.

We'll teach the kids about English and God hoping they'll grow up to get good jobs and implant values that will rescue Africa.

Maybe then they'll send missionaries to save England.