THE school holidays are here and, like most parents, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Six whole weeks with the children can test you to the limit, but in many ways it is easier than term time.

The way I see it, there are advantages and disadvantages: First, the good points:

  • No packed lunches – these are the bane of my life. I can often be spotted in our kitchen at 11.30pm surrounded by slices of bread, slithers of ham, chunks of cheese, samosas and biscuits — not forgetting the five-a-day healthy item, which my youngest daughter believes is a packet of spring onion flavoured crisps and a slice of Chocolate Orange. Not having to prepare them will mean I get to bed at a reasonable time.
  • Relaxing morning rush-hour – It’s not exactly car-free, but there must be at least a 50 per cent drop in commuter traffic during school holidays. You are guaranteed a seat on buses and trains, which is how I usually travel to work. In fact, it’s possible to have an entire carriage to yourself on the train, as opposed to standing squashed against the loo door. You can actually read the paper. Bliss.
  • No homework – well, not every night. There’s no need to say, over and over: “Do you have any? Have you done it yet – why not? Get on with it.”
  • Family days out – we hardly ever go out during term time, as our daughters are usually doing something with their friends. As many of them are away they actually agree to come out with us – providing if we see anyone they know, we pretend not to be with them.

And the bad points:

  • Kids everywhere (who should be neither seen nor heard) – kids behaving badly are everywhere, in the supermarket, in cafes, at the shops. You can’t even sit and have your sandwiches on a city centre bench without one sticking its tongue out or poking you in the ribs. One young boy actually punched me recently, while his mother looked on, not batting an eyelid even when my friend told him off. It hurt, and he did it more than once. Many children are out-of-control and should be packed off to Brat Camp until September.
  • Afternoon rush-hour – trains are packed with noisy, sticky families spilling Coke over tables, dropping sweet wrappers on the floor, leaving banana skins on the seats — and that's just the parents.
  • Expense – the worst kind of extortion racket operates during the six-week break, with holidays doubling in cost. Everything seems to cost more and because of the pressure to have a good time, many of us (not me, my middle name’s Scrooge) usually cough up.