I FELT saddened by the comments in 'Relatives must share blame for tragic tots' (Letters, July 2) and 'Where would your love be?' (Letters, July 7).

Blaming other family members for the death of baby Tara, I think, is ridiculous. There are family members who didn't know what was going on - as I should know, being part of John's family. And I'm sure part of Amanda's family didn't know what was going on either.

I am not writing in defence of John but because I think all of these letters are not doing anybody any good. Why is it still going on? It isn't going to bring back baby Tara.

Although it's only right for people to have their own opinions, shifting the blame on to relatives who didn't know what was going on is only going to cause more upset.

As was said in 'Where would your love be?' these people do not know anything about any of these families, but it's true that they don't have the full facts. They only know what was printed in the paper, and even then nobody really knows the truth, except two people - the parents, both of them. I agree with some of the things said, such as the question asking: 'Do they know what sort of family Amanda came from?' Well I can answer that by saying 'no.' Nobody does, Just as nobody knows what sort of family John came from.

But the question: 'Do they know what sort of family she married into?' is as good as saying we are a bad family. But Amanda didn't marry the family; she married John. She didn't have to, but she did.

It's not fair when all the blame is put on to one. You can't just blame one - it is both. Letters like these are not solving anything, but are only causing disagreement and heartache.

Please, let these babies rest in peace.

NAME and address received

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.