HMMM, well, what's happened since the last time we spoke? What news is there to impart this week? Let me see.

There's the fact that I've clocked up a quarter of a century and turned 25 on Monday, I suppose, but what else?

I've finally become the proud owner of a Robbie Williams CD after years of following and slavering over his every move, set a new personal best for scoffing an Easter egg in record time, finished Angela's Ashes at long last and, oh yes, before I forget - I've been to the other side of the world and back.

Now, before the confusion cogs in the old grey matter kick into overdrive, let me assure you the reason you didn't notice I was gone was more down to some exceptionally diligent forward planning on my part.

I left my columns prepared for while I was away you see.

Someone give me a Blue Peter badge eh?

So while you savoured my story of a hedonistic ten course pre-holiday lunch, wrestled with my dreams of Tae Bo-ing half of Blackburn on a Saturday night and hopefully found my thought on accents mildly amusing, I was actually a million miles away from any of it in Oz.

Hard life isn't it? I mean, a week in the beautiful sun-kissed Olympic city of Sydney, another cruising the equally exquisite Whitsunday islands and a third travelling to the rainforests of the far north of the east coast -- I really don't know how I coped, do you?

I actually went to see an ex-pat mate of mine who has spent the last 12 months living over there and tuning into this column each week via the internet for some much needed snippets of home.

You see, despite the fact he has undoubtedly revelled in the delights of living in the shadow of the impressive harbour bridge and similarly breathtaking form of the Sydney Opera House, he's actually missed good old Blighty -- if you can believe that -- and, in particular, Coronation Street it seems.

Mind you, you only have to watch Neighbours to understand where he's coming from there I suppose.

But, sorry, I crawled through arrivals at the airport, weighed down from flying what seemed like 20 million miles and crossing almost every time zone known to man in the process, and all he could say was: "What's happening to Steve MacDonald these days?"

He was devastated when I told him that developments while he was away included Ashley's wedding to Maxine and the revelation that his Uncle Fred was his dad all the time, I say, his dad all the time.

Three weeks later though and I must say I can see where he's coming from because I know it's sad but I must admit I'm glad to be back.

Now don't get me wrong I had a fantastic time, did and saw things I would never do or see in this country and enjoyed every minute of my stay -- it's just they just don't make kebabs like they do over here and at the end of the day it's not home to me.

Mind you, ask me again next week when sunny days and warm nights are a distant memory in the flippin' rain and I might give you a different answer.

Kebabs might pale into insignificance when everyday life sets back in -- and as I never thought I'd hear myself say that, anything's possible I suppose.

G'day.