THOSE amazing high sculptured shoes worn this week by top heavy silicone-enhanced model Jordan certainly weren't made for walking.

The wooden curvy-soled shoes with seven-inch heels took me back to a pair I bought last time platforms were all the craze -- and I was their daftest fan.

I bought a pair of red clogs in Athens, which had three-inch cork platforms and seven-inch heels which were wider than the soles.

I lived in our sister town, Wigan, at the time, and set off to walk into town. I'd only teetered three quarters of the way there when I fell off one and ripped the top away from the sole.

I had to roll up my pants by six inches and head for a shoe mender in the market, who was astounded by the ugly things, but managed to glue them together to get me home.

I still persevered and bought some of the most revolting shoes imaginable. At the time, I thought they were fantastic and wouldn't be told otherwise.

I shudder to think what people must have thought, and I certainly wouldn't give the new ones wardrobe space now. Any good platform tales?