JOAN Collins has done it. So has Helen Mirren, Joan Rivers and Coronation Street's Amanda Barrie. Most recently, GMTV presenter Penny Smith was found to have fibbed about her age.

The 45-year-old claimed she was 39 and was humiliated when her co-star Eamonn Holmes revealed the truth on air.

If a woman is touchy about one thing it is usually her age. I will gladly reveal my advanced years to anyone, but I must admit, since hitting 40 I feel less comfortable about it.

I often wonder why and have concluded that it's because we are such an ageist society - jobs, clothes, shops, nightclubs - you name it. You don't feel as wanted once you're middle-aged.

It's about acceptance, being part of something lively and vibrant. Something that, to coin a 'young' phrase, is "happening".

Sadly when you're my age the only place you feel wanted is the antiwrinkle cream counter in Boots!

But it's not just age which has us fretting over whether to fabricate. There are many situations which have women and - though less often - men squirming as to whether to slip in just one or two porkies.

Work: Take those dreadful school reunions where the stock question is: "And what do you do?"

Suddenly you feel that the summer job flogging choc ices on Morecambe sands that you've enjoyed for the past 10 years, won't cut much ice with your former classmates who all seem to be stockbrokers or lawyers so you find yourself spouting forth some rubbish about marine biology.

Being vague is another option. A particular favourite is "something in the media." I can use that without being dishonest, but were I asked to elaborate I'm not sure I'd get away with my trump card "director general of the BBC."

Homes: This is one area in which I'm completely honest. If anyone asks, my home is a tip. It's also only one-third decorated with a leaking roof. rotten windows and a no-go area on top. Yet I've heard my mum proudly describe it to friends as "a lovely three-storey town house", making it sound like a plush pad from Homes and Gardens. In reality it's more likely to feature in Tenement Times.

Of course, when we come to sell it it will be fibs all the way and the leaking roof will become a "water feature".

Dress size: This is generally a woman thing. After being slim for much of my youth, I'm horrified by the fact that I take size 16 trousers.

Whenever the subject comes up in conversation I go down a size. And I'm quick to add: "I'm 12 on top." (another fib).

Relationships: Don't you just hate those women who say: "We've been married for 20 years and we're as happy now as we were then." Yeah, right.

Then why am I forever reading about how research has show that three years is about the limit for passion, devotion, faithfulness, etc...?

Thankfully, my own circle of close friends, however small, are more honest and dream of a dangerous liaison with a handsome stranger.

Well, that's about it. The sacrifices I make for this column. It has scuppered my chances of getting on to Big Brother. I bent the truth when filling in the application form. Thirty-one, single, no kids, and a drop-dead gorgeous dancer.

Still they were bound to find out.