SOMEBODY should tell His Royal Golfness -- Prince Andrew -- that if he wants to travel to his important banquets by private helicopter he'd gain more respect for the monarchy if he'd pay for his jaunts himself, or persuade his brown-nosing sycophants to do so, rather than pick the taxpayers' pockets to fund his sybaritic ego-trips.

KEITH ELLEL, Westwood Avenue, Rishton.