WHY did a pupil’s classmates have to go the nurse?

Because he had them in stitches.

Thomas Maloney, aged 13, has written and published his own joke book, A Joke a day keeps the Doctor away!.

The Bury Church of England High School pupil aims to raise £3,000 to go to Japan with the Raindrops ‘n’ Roses Jamboree Unit, a regional scout group covering Greater Manchester North and East Lancashire.

He has so far raised £1,400, around £400 of which has come from sales of his book.

If Thomas can reach his fundraising target, he will represent the 14th Radcliffe Ainsworth Scout Group at the 23 World Scout Jamboree in Japan in 2015, where he will be joined by 30,000 other scouts from 162 countries.

A Joke a day keeps the Doctor away! was published just before Christmas, and Thomas hoped it was a welcome present for many.

Thomas, who lives in Breightmet, Bolton, said: “I have always liked telling jokes in school and my friends always tell jokes, so I thought it was a good idea — it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.

“I like the joy that people get from telling the jokes. If I can make other people laugh, I can make myself laugh.”

Thomas’s mother Susan Mellon, an accounts clerk aged 52, said: “I can’t tell you how proud I am of him, it’s phenomenal what he’s achieved.

“People think the book is really funny. All those who have bought and read Thomas’s book have been incredibely generous.”

The book is available for a miniumum donation of £1, with all the money raised from sales of Thomas’s joke book going into his Jamboree fund.

The book can be obtained from the Blue Boar pub in Deansgate, Bolton, the Balmoral pub in Bradshawgate, Bolton, from the 14th Radcliffe Ainsworth Scout Group, or by emailing jamboree2015@outlook.com

Five chuckles from Thomas’s book:

  1. “Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin.”
  2. “What dance can you see in the night sky? The moonwalk.”
  3. “Where do Martians drink beer? At a Mars bar.”
  4. “What animal hibernates standing on its head? Yoga Bear.”
  5. “Why can’t Cinderella play soccer? Because she’s always running away from the ball.”