Just the Two of Us, BBC1
9:00am Thursday 4th January 2007 in Leisure
JIM to win - that's all I'm saying on the TV car crash that is Just the Two of Us.
Seeing EastEnders' Jim Branning clinging to soul sister Jocelyn Brown like a life raft, I almost expected him to start clutching his chest and start wailing "Dora-fee, me eart, me eart!"
And now I'm on the subject, have you noticed how watching a greying man slaughtering a love song while doing the sort of dancing that would put your dad to shame is hilarious and a endearing?
But watching a middle-aged woman screeching and squealing her way through a ballad (you know who you are Janet Ellis) is just plain embarrassing?
Don't even get me started on Tito Jackson - the man with teeth so bright I nearly had to adjust the contrast on the TV set.
As far as judges go, only Geri Halliwell on Popstars: The Rivals many moons ago has challenged him for sheer pointlessness of comments.
Even Tess Daly looked a bit embarrassed as Tito muttered for contestants to "keep at it" and assured them "you'll be fine" (although in the case of Masterchef's Gregg Wallace I don't know - I for one won't be able to take him seriously with a fork again).
Apart from Jim I quite like Laura from EastEnders (Hannah Waterman) - although in these sorts of shows it's usually the young good looking ones that win regardless of talent.
Although the show is indeed a wreck, I'm already a hooked, rubbernecking voyeur.
