So, not content with flogging us diet coke, diet coke with lemon, diet coke with vanilla, diet coke with lime, cherry Coke, caffeine free coke and normal coke, the world's largest beverage company has decided there's a chunk of the planet it isn't yet filling with fizzy pop and has launched a brand new product - Coke Zero.

For those who haven't seen the advert (and how is that cave you've been living in?) this is how it goes. A blond, clean cut guy with a bit of a swagger paces through a city asking "why can't we have the good things in life with none of the downsides?"

As he struts along he is joined by a crowd of 20-something lads eagerly chiming in with his lament. Yeah! Like work mates without work,' they bemoan. Girlfriends without five-year plans!' Mobiles without the dodgy ringtones!' Holidays without having to come home!" At the ads triumphant conclusion a huge poster unfurls across a building heralding coke zero - "Great coke taste, zero sugar."

Given that this is Coca Cola's most important ad campaign in 22 years, it's a shame that it makes you want to poke out your brain with a rusty coathanger.

Should we worry that, after spending an obscene amount of money planning, researching and producing this advert, Coca Cola marketing was probably pretty sure that this was your typical British 20-something guy?

How depressing. This drink, the advert implies, is designed for men who want to stay slim but don't have the self-assurance to buy a soft drink with the word diet in the title, made for guys who secretly resent their girlfriends but haven't the bottle to chuck them. Who'd love to meet their workmates outside of work-time, but feel that might be a little bit . . .gay.

The thing is, Bloke Coke man seems like he's been beamed straight from another decade. It was long ago accepted that men moisturise, watch their weight and take care of their appearance so this laddish, girlfriend-resenting, life-challenged, self-conscious, pack-mentality specimen of manhood is a relic, last lampooned (and rather more intelligently) in Men Behaving Badly circa 1990.

Okay, I know that such men do exist. They're the kind who go to the pub after work, ostentatiously letting their mobile ring with a tut and a shrug; "the missus", thinking this makes them all man, before racing home and grovelling for having had half a lager.

But it doesn't have to be like this. You only need compare the UK Coke Zero ad with the Spanish one. In the latter, two gangs have a dance off, West Side Story style, looking lithe, sexy and confident in their own masculinity. Look at them. Brooding. Dancing! Not wiffling on about bra straps or stag dos like a bunch of little boys.

UK men take note. If the bloke we see in the Coke Zero advert is typical, they needn't worry about the five year plan or the wedding or those incredibly complicated bra straps. Because the women of Britain will be on the next plane to Spain, looking for the Real Thing.